Enneagram and Marriage | Amanda + Marquis

We are excited to share with you stories of Enneagram and Marriage and today we are introducing you to Amanda and Marquis Jones.  This August, we are hosting Enneagram Conversations on the Enneagram and Marriage, so we thought what better way to prep for an outstanding conversation than to explore real life couples doing life with the Enneagram.  We are excited to share their story with you.

Amanda and Marquis first photo

Amanda: Enneagram 2w1 | Marquis: Enneagram 7w8

How did you meet? We met in high school! I (Amanda) was a teacher’s assistant for a class he was in. I was a year older though, so once I graduated, we no longer stayed in touch. We both went our separate ways and reconnected on Facebook Messenger. Chats soon became hours worth of FaceTime calls. We were distant at the time, but after one visit in person, we both knew God had a much greater plan for us. So we got engaged! Everything moved very quickly after that, and it’s been the greatest love story since.

Amanda and Marquis Wedding Photo

How Long Have You Been Married?

5 Months

How did you learn about the Enneagram?

I (Amanda) was introduced by AGDuron. Marquis was introduced to it by me. Naturally as a two who has to process everything verbally though, I talk about it much more!

Amanda, what is your favorite aspect of Marquis’ Enneagram Type?

His ability to embrace the unknown. It really does inspire me. I cling tightly to my 1 wing when it comes to needing a structure, routine and a plan. Watching Marquis be able to genuinely live in the present without an agenda is beautiful.

Marquis, what is your favorite aspect of Amanda’s Enneagram Type?

Amanda’s ability to see everyone else’s need. She really feels on behalf of other people, and is always sharing stories with me of how other’s are hurting, and her response is always wanting to know how she can help.

And what’s the hardest part about Marquis’ Enneagram Type?

That he is not in the feelings triad! I remember having a conversation with AGDuron when I was first learning about the Enneagram. As a 7 herself, she said “if you ever want to know what is going on with me, ask me what I am thinking, not what I am feeling” and that has stuck with me since then. And let me tell you how much I now REALLY know what this means being married to a 7 myself. Oh and when we are both tapping into our 8 – yeah, that’s fun.

And what’s the hardest part about Amanda’s Enneagram Type?

Her inability to help in all the ways she wants really impacts her on a very deep emotional level. And that is hard for me as a 7 to understand or comprehend. She really thrives to sit in her feelings and process them, while I’m trying to always escape mine.

Amanda and Marquis together

How has learning the Enneagram helped you understand him?

I have an incredible appreciation for realizing when he disagrees with me, it’s not because he is against me. It’s not because he doesn’t need me. It’s not because he doesn’t love me. He disagrees because he is a human who experiences and sees life through a totally different motivational lens.

And how has learning the Enneagram helped you understand her?

It’s helped me understand how she really does have to process everything. Amanda is constantly recognizing what everyone else needs, so when she begins to verbally process things with me, I know it is her way of telling me she needs something, without directly asking for it.

What has been the most valuable lesson you’ve learned thanks to understanding the Enneagram?

We lean in to one another’s strengths when we are at our most vulnerable state. I (Amanda) can feel so overwhelmed by anxiety, stress, and emotion- and in those moments, having a spouse who pulls me into the escape to remind me of the present really does help reground me. And I (Marquis) don’t really like discussing when I am stressed or overwhelmed, but Amanda is always able to see that I am. And she is always encouraging me to talk about it. She helps me do what she does best- verbally process. Together, we really do make one another’s burdens light.

Amanda and Marquis silly photo

And just because we’re gift people, we wanted to know–

I really feel loved when he gifts me: “Just because flowers” Yes, he will randomly bring me flowers “just because” and I love it!

I really feel loved when she gifts me: Amanda buys the “big dream” gifts I talk about. Like an Xbox and a Traeger Grill.

So much love for this sweet couple–we loved learning more about Amanda and Marquis’ journey with the Enneagram and how it’s impacted their marriage. 

Make sure to sign up for our Enneagram + Marriage conversation we are having on August 20 and 21, 2020 with Enneagram + Marriage Podcaster Christa Hardin. Head over to our Events tab to register to hold your spot now.

Author: Bone+Marrow