Enneagram and Marriage | Jon + Charlene

We are excited to share with you stories of Enneagram and Marriage and today we are introducing you to Jon and Charlene.  This August, we are hosting Enneagram Conversations on the Enneagram and Marriage, so we thought what better way to prep for an outstanding conversation than to explore real life couples doing life with the Enneagram.  We are excited to share their story with you.

Jon and Charlene's Favorite Photo

Jon: Enneagram 2w3 | Charlene: Enneagram 9w8

How did you meet?

We were both teaching at the same high school. A group of us single teachers would attend sporting events and extra-curricular events together. We became very good friends before we started dating and eventually got married. A fun story–a few of the students found out that we had been secretly dating. At a Valentine’s Dance, hosted by an organization that Jon was sponsoring, someone dedicated a song to us at the dance. They asked us to come to the middle of the dance floor and began playing “Secret Lovers.” Everyone else cleared the dance floor while we danced … it was the longest five minutes of our lives.

Jon and Charlene Recent Photo

How Long Have You Been Married?

27 Years

How did you learn about the Enneagram?

Jon was first introduced to it by his boss with the rest of his team at work. He began diving into it more than Charlene. After being in the middle of several conversations with other couples where Enneagram conversations came up, Charlene grabbed a book, The Road Back to You, to help identify her type (incorrectly for a long time).

Charlene, what is your favorite aspect of Jon’s Enneagram Type?

His generosity towards others. He loves to help people reach their full potential. It makes him a great boss and even better leader.

Jon, what is your favorite aspect of Charlene’s Enneagram Type?

I love how she creates peace and stability for those around her. It’s interesting that this has been a common theme that has come from our friends and her coworkers.

And what’s the hardest part about Jon’s Enneagram Type?

1. He is always wanting to help and fix my problem when I just want to vent.

2. He drives me crazy when he drives sometimes. I see a sign that that says lane closed 1 mile. I am the type (a little bit of a one coming out) that moves over well ahead of time. He waits until the last minute because being a 2 he knows someone else will help and let him in.

And what’s the hardest part about Charlene’s Enneagram Type?

That she’s not a 2 like me and will never truly understand me! In all seriousness, a 9 is probably the easiest person to get along with. However, it’s often difficult to get her to share what she truly wants. More often than not, she goes along with what I want. And, as a 2, I can’t help her if I don’t know what she needs!

Jon and Charlene Recent

How has learning the Enneagram helped you understand him?

I better understand why he wants to help everyone. I used to be jealous when he spent time outside the work day helping others. Now I realize that is what makes Jon who he is. I love him more because of his own need to help. It makes him passionate about everything he does.

And how has learning the Enneagram helped you understand her?

At the highest level, it’s helped me realize that she’s not looking at things the way I’m looking at them. That gives me more empathy for myself and for her. It’s also given me the tools to begin to understand her more effectively.

What has been the most valuable lesson you’ve learned thanks to understanding the Enneagram?

It has given us an ability to better understand each other. It allows us to communicate in a way we better receive from each other. Also it helps us understand each others motives and give each other room.

Jon and Charlene Main Photo

And just because we’re gift people, we wanted to know–

I really feel loved when he gifts me: ANYTHING! My love language is gift giving. Actually, when I get to spend time with him away from home where other things can’t distract him. I used to talk a mile a minute when I was with him but now I can just sit quietly in his presence and feel loved.

I really feel loved when she gifts me: Anything that has required her to listen and truly know what I want. I love gifts that are both exactly what I would like but also are a surprise. It’s difficult to surprise me, so if she can do that, it really makes me feel loved.

So much love for this amazing couple–we loved learning more about Jon and Charlene’s journey with the Enneagram and how it’s impacted their marriage. 

Make sure to sign up for our Enneagram + Marriage conversation we are having on August 20 and 21, 2020 with Enneagram + Marriage Podcaster Christa Hardin. Head over to our Events tab to register to hold your spot now.

Author: Bone+Marrow